And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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