i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
