Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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