New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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