I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
