fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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