No stitches, just platelets and will power
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
