Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
