Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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