i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
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we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
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That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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