Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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