The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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