It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
