so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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