I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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