i would punch a child for taco bell
there's paper in my vomit.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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