i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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