The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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