I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
