Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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