I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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