Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
