i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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