I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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