I wish i was in the wii world.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
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Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
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how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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