The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
