You can't special order awesome
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
