I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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