Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
