she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
