My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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