Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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