I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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