She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After tacos, we're chasing women.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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