im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
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I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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