She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
