Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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