Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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