tell your sister to shave her snatch
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
