i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
