Please don't use social media to get back at me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
