I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Randomize
