I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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