I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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