I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
someone owes me an orgasm
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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