wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
