you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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