I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
