I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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