The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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