we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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