Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
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my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
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Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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