either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize