he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
