Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
are you so shy because you have an std?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
