Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
