we made out on top of his cat.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
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I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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