What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
