And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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