just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
