Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
