ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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