The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
