I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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