make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
