I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
